Full Disclosure

It's most likely that the people who read this blog already know me on a personal level, or they have come in close enough contact with me to know that I am a Kansas fan. They won the National Championship when I was seven years old, and since then it's been in my blood. Across the sporting landscape, there is no team that I support more than I support Kansas. I haven't written about Kansas yet, largely because there hasn't been anything in the world of Jayhawk that is so interesting that I couldn't avoid writing about it. Also, this is not a Kansas blog. I don't intend for it to ever be a Kansas blog, and while people may or may not care about Kansas basketball, they almost certainly don't about my fandom.

Sunday, something interesting did happen. Kansas became the fourth member of the Final Four by becoming the nation's biggest bullies and stealing a great big victory from tiny little Stephen Curry and tiny little Davidson. Almost everyone who follows college basketball already saw the game, and there's no need to elaborate beyond the fact that ho-hum Kansas is a bunch of lucky assholes and ho-hum Bill Self is no longer the best coach without a Final Four. What's especially interesting about Kansas' berth into the Final Four is that they'll be matching up against North Carolina, led by former Kansas coach and current Huckleberry Hound impersonator, Roy Williams.

A friend asked me if, five years later, I was still bitter about Roy Williams' decision to leave Kansas in favor of his alma mater, and I felt this was probably a good arena for me to spell out my feelings about the situation. To put it simply, yes, I am still bitter. It doesn't mean that I don't like Bill Self as a coach every bit as much as I liked Roy Williams, and it doesn't mean that I wish the last five years of Kansas basketball had gone differently. Bill Self is a very fine coach who, in my opinion, improves every year. Beyond that, I root for the name on the front of the jersey more than I root for any one individual - player or coach.

My feelings, and the feelings of plenty of other Kansas fans, are feelings of a divorcee. We are, collectively, a perfectly attractive catch, as loyal as any man could hope for. To take the divorce analogy further, imagine that you have enjoyed a very successful marriage over the course of fifteen years. You've been to the Champs-Élysées for an incredible weekend, you've welcomed into your family a couple of beautiful children, you've paid cash for your house, and even though neither of you are quite as fit as you once were, the fact that you've grown together more than makes up for it. It hasn't always been perfect, but it has always been great.

One unfortunate day, your lover gets a call from an ex. Come to find out, this person was your lover's high school sweetheart, and everyone thought they'd always end up together. Sadly, that sweetheart is now a widow. Sweetheart previously had a very fruitful, even very lucrative relationship, and while it's quite likely said sweetheart would love your lover, it's unlikely your lover would ever really "compare." Still, your lover is having second thoughts about the current situation...thoughts that make your heart sink into your stomach. For days, you can barely stand to look at each other, as your lover is weighing the great times you've shared against what could be.

But alas, your lover chooses you! All is well again, your lover has said he will never leave, and you find you love each other more than ever. You go on more trips, and you achieve more milestones. Love does, indeed, conquer all.

But what is this? Here you had these wonderful plans for your anniversary, yet the high school sweetheart comes calling again. So painful are the new inquiries that you don't even enjoy your anniversary. Before you know it, your home has been officially wrecked by the high school sweetheart, and the two of them have eloped to a trailer park outside of Appalachia. Why? What the hell was so wrong with you? What could your lover have hoped to find that you couldn't offer?

Soon enough, you start dating again. Things are certainly going well, and you're happy enough. In due time, you'll likely even accomplish many of the same things you did with the first lover. It helps that you don't have to see your ex-lover. All the same, could you be blamed for still having bitterness in your heart? Of course you're thankful for the good times, but those good things didn't give your lover the right to just jump ship.

OK, so it's a windy and not-too thinly veiled analogy. You get it. I'm thankful for the time that Williams spent at Kansas, and if he wanted to leave, it's ultimately his prerogative. I don't have to be happy for him (and I'm not), and I think it can be excused if I and any other Kansas fans still want to harbor some resentment. More than I resent Williams, I resent North Carolina for even asking. They asked, they were turned down, and that should have been the end of it. It didn't help that the decision to remove Matt Doherty, Williams' predecessor at North Carolina, came just days before Kansas was to play Syracuse in the National Championship - a game the Jayhawks would ultimately lose. While it would be sophomoric and foolish to outright blame the Championship failure on the Williams situation, one has to wonder how heavily it weighed on Williams' mind and on the minds of his players.

So while once Kansas and North Carolina were kindred spirits, hand in hand in the annals of basketball history, it simply isn't so in the heart of this Kansas and college basketball fan. I root for Duke but only 2-3 times a year.